4 Ways- date your spouse after kids

Date night. We all remember what those were like. You know, before the train of kids came along. Now, date night is off in a far away magical land filled with unicorns. (I may have read too many kid stories.)

 It doesn't matter who you talk to, what classes you attend, or what books you read on the topic of marriage, Communication is always a key point. So, after much failure to balance being a wife and mother, and years to practice, we've settled on in-home dating. 

The dates that happen after the kids are in bed. The dates the bring you back together after long days at the office. Time spent rehydrating a drained relationship after wiping up sticky and messy all day. The moments that inspire you to keep on keepin' on.

Dates. 

We need them with our spouse. If not only to remind us who we are embarking on this crazy journey called life with. 

To grow. 

To vent. 

To be challenged. 

After years of trial and error, one thing has become blatantly obvious. Popping in a movie for date night does not help develop our communication. It's easy, convenient. We like movies. When it's over, shut it down and head to bed. But it wasn't keeping us connected with each other.

This makes me think back to dating days. Movie for the first date. Because it is less pressure to talk much and sort of breaks the ice. Second, coffee shop date. This is the part where you actually start getting to know one another. And hey, awkward silence? Well, you watched a movie together, so now there's a talking point. 

But I'd already been through those steps with my now husband. We needed more coffee shop dates in our marriage. Here are some in-home dating ideas..

1. Tea time. We're big tea drinkers. It is rather comforting sippin' tea while curled up next to your spouse, chattin' the night away. 

2. Foot rubs. Dear friends of ours sit on opposite ends of the couch and rub each other's feet as they talk. After seeing their lovely marriage, well, maybe there's more to a foot rub than just feet!

3. Read. Sometimes we enjoy reading together, but more often than not, we've got our noses buried in different novels. Reading next to each other is still pleasant and afterwards there is often something interesting to share. Also consider audio books or podcasts. Something that will likely strike up meaningful conversation.

4. Cheese platter. One of our very favorites. Seriously, who doesn't like fruit and cheese?! It can be simple or make it more of a romantic dinner. Goat cheese, almonds, berries, dark chocolate. Pair it with some bread and wine, if you're into that. And relish in the fact that you saved a bunch of money by eating this at home instead of a fancy restaurant!

Striving for a stronger marriage, one coffee date at a time!